Zoe Emmaleigh Childs - London

Zoe Emmaleigh Childs-London, daughter of Dawn and Stephen (cockney), sister of Robert, James, Stephen and twin sister to Zakariah.

Zoe would have been Auntie to Charlie and is now Auntie to Tyler and Taylor (London) who joined in her heaven recently.

My Story;

My biggest fear was falling pregnant. I know it sounds stupid, I desperately wanted a baby to complete our family but I was scared that it may have led to yet another heartache, to which it did.

Before I fell pregnant with Zoe and Zak, I miscarried 12 babies, all of which were little girls. I was told that medically I am unable to carry baby girls to term. So obviously falling pregnant was a big thing both physically and emotionally for me. One hand I was happy for being pregnant and on the other worried incase I was carrying a little girl.

I found out I was pregnant with Zoe (and Zak) in May 2000 and was delighted at the possibility I could have had twins. I was so happy. I had a really good pregnancy, I wasn't ill nor did I ever feel it. As time went on, I had high hopes that both of my babies were healthy baby boys and everything would be fine.

But on the morning of the 20th September 2000, I started to bleed. I instantly thought the worst was happening. As time went onI started bleeding really bad, I've never seen so much blood in all my life. I started to worry for both of my babies lives (I didn't know whether they were boys or girls), I rang my partner and headed to the hospital.

There it was discovered that I was indeed carrying a little girl and that she wouldn't survive. They were too concerned for the safety of my son also, I nearly lost him too. As I had never managed to carry a little girl to the 20 week gestation before, my head was all over the place, I was so so scared.

A couple of hours later, Zoe passed naturally. I remember looking at her, all curled up in a ball and so tiny. The nurse came and took her away and that was the last time I saw her.

Luckily Zoe's twin Zakariah survived as to date is doing well. He knows all about his twin sister and we as a family will always remember her.